Return
by slafferty2020
Summary: Kind of a dabble, just me trying writing out. Eren x Mikasa, probably super bad, but hey... everyone's gotta start somewhere? (Me trying to stay optimistic). Rated M for language, alcohol, drugs, sexual references/topics, but no lemons (at least for now).
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

 **Ay, sorry if this is really bad, I have basically no experience in writing, but I'm getting kinda bored with just reading, and think writing could be a decent hobby to pick up. That being said, please don't hold back in the critique, tell me what I do wrong, and what I should keep doing. Please, it's a huge help, and will make my future chapters (if I choose to continue writing) much more enjoyable.**

 **Onto the plot of this fic, it's a Eren x Mikasa story, and it takes place in the Attack on Titan world. It takes place in a world where the Survey and Military Corps didn't rescue Eren after Reiner and Bertholdt kidnapped him (and Ymir).**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan.**

Dot Pixis was slightly more wasted than usual, lying unconscious atop Wall Maria with a few empty bottles of booze lying nearby. It was midday, somewhere around 2 o'clock, and the sun reflected brightly off of Pixis' glossy bald head. Someone nudged his shoulder, he heard some blurry words, and he awoke.

"Ah, Armin, what a lovely surprise." He said, somewhat sarcastically.

"Morning, General Pixis." Armin stood properly, in a soldier's stance.

"Armin, what have I said about this shit, knock it off with the formality." Pixis spat harshly.

Armin was slightly taken back by his sting, but quickly blamed it on the extra booze. "Sorry, sir, a soldier's habit." Armin replied, dropping his hands to his sides. "Sir…"

"Just Pixis, Armin." Dot cut him off.

Armin sighed. " _Sir_ ," Armin stretched the word. "With all due respect, you've become lazy. Even more than before, actually."

"Oh really? Well now that you say it, it does indeed seem like it, doesn't it? I don't know what I'd do without your impeccable perception, Armin." The sarcasm seemed to amplify with the added alcohol.

"Sir, your slacking habits have seemed to have rubbed off on the soldiers, I rarely see any of them actually working." Armin sighed, the disappointment obvious in his voice.

Pixis sat up at this, and took a big breath. "Armin, sit down and talk with me for a bit."

He obeyed.

"Armin, that's how it's always been in the Garrison, even more so lately." He stared into Armin's eyes, and the smile fell from his face; a rare sight. He inhaled deeply, his seriousness somewhat terrifying. "You've noticed it too, Armin, the titans have been practically non-existent since, well, you know." Dot sighed, letting his head drop before looking beyond the wall.

Armin inhaled, bracing himself for what he was to say. "Yes, sir, since Eren was kidnapped, Titan sightings have been a luxury, if you could call it that." Armin paused. "But there's still work to do, like planning a search party." A surge of joy seemed to flow through him, but it disappeared as quickly as it came, with obvious disappointment.

Dot brought his hand to his forehead, exhaling a heavy breath. "Armin… it's been a year and a half. I'm sorry, son, Eren's gone." His gaze didn't leave the ground. It was rare for Pixis to discuss such serious topics, but when he did, he became a completely different person.

Armin's eyes glimmered, and he held back a sniffle. "I know sir, I guess Mikasa's optimism has just been rubbing off." A single tear ran down his cheek.

Pixis went back to staring at beyond the walls. "Ah, that poor girl. Will she ever accept the truth? I don't know what happened with those two in their past that made them as close as they are, and I'm still not sure if I'm prepared to know what. But whatever it was, it's a little terrifying." His eyes returned to Armin. "Have you tried…"

"Talking to her?" Armin cut him off, finishing his question. "You don't know how many times, Dot."

Pixis raised his eyebrow, surprised at Armin's use of his first name, although not offended.

"Every time I try, she breaks down, and tries to say something about a rescue, rarely finishing before the sobs take over." Armin continued. "I think - I think she knows that he's gone, she's just still in denial." He shook his head subtly, and tears began to fall. "The world is so cruel, General." Armin was lightly sobbing at this point.

Dot put his hand on Armin's shoulder, attempting to comfort him. "It is, Armin, it is, but now that we can no longer live with Eren, we must live for him. All of us. Mikasa must accept Eren's death, Armin, even without titan's to slay, we are at a great disadvantage without her. Please, Armin, try again to convince her." With this, Dot Pixis stood up, leaving his hand on Armin's shoulder. "Come on, son, let's go."

Armin glanced at the hand, then up to the General's face. The familiar smile had returned. With a final sniffle, he wiped the tears from his eyes, attempting to appear like his usual self. "Yes sir."

* * *

Mikasa's eyes cracked open, and she groaned as the sunlight burned her vision. She sat up, and saw a naked Jean lying next to her, recollecting her memories from the night before. They were blurry and scattered, but she knew what happened, more or less.

These hook ups of hers weren't very rare, she went home with Jean once a week, at least. She didn't mean anything by them, of course, she had been going to desperate measures to keep her mind off Eren in the nights. So she drank, she got high, and she fucked. Nothing more, nothing less. Jean didn't understand that, of course, he wanted a full on relationship, with feelings and everything, and Mikasa knew. But frankly, she didn't give a shit.

She had lost practically all emotion and sympathy since Eren's kidnapping - with the exception of that for Armin - hence her meaningless hookups. All that was left in her now was a burning hatred for Reiner, Bertholdt, and Annie, and the burning desire to get Eren back.

She swung her feet out of the bed, wincing at a pain that shot up her left side; the two had gone at it particularly rough the night before. She glanced at herself in the mirror, changing self consciously, and wrapping her scarf around her neck extra snug to hide the hickeys. She sighed _._ "I'm sorry, Eren, for what I've become." She whispered into the scaf, holding back tears. Simply thinking of Eren got her rather emotional, and she hadn't gotten any better at hiding it.

As Mikasa was buttoning up the last few buttons on her blouse, she heard a groan from Jean.

"Good Morning Mikasa." Jean slurred.

"Fucking lightweight." Mikasa thought, but said nothing. The effects of the previous night's alcohol were still obvious in his voice. She grabbed her coat, and went for the door.

"Wha? Where are you going?" Jean asked, slightly taken back.

"I have things to do, Jean." Mikasa said flatly, staring at the door.

"Like what?" He fired back, clearly bothered by her rush to leave.

"Train." She tried her best to make it obvious that she wanted to leave. She wasn't failing.

"Train? You're always fucking training, Mikasa, why?" Jean spat aggressively, the annoyance clear in his voice.

"To be strong." Mikasa was still staring at the door, and her voice was still flat.

"What for, Mikasa?" Jean began to yell. "What are you training for? We've had nothing to do for months! We have no titans to kill, no scouting missions to see through, and you have no Eren to protect!" Jean realized what he had said a second too late. He saw Mikasa sharply inhale, and go for the door. "Fuck, Mikasa, I'm sor-" He couldn't finish before the door slammed shut.

Mikasa had paused after she left, her mind wondering on what Jean had said. It was true, she had no beloved Eren to protect, but she had to get him back. Neither the Survey or Military Corps had shown any interest in assembling a rescue party, but Mikasa would save Eren, even if it meant all by herself. The boy was always on her mind - even when she was drunk or high - with his rare but contagious smile, his expressive, emerald eyes, his rough, yet attractive hair. She had admitted her attraction towards Eren to herself a while ago, but she wouldn't dare tell him her true feelings even if she had the chance. He'd probably hate her for it.

She was drawn out of her thoughts when she felt a tear run down her cheek. She sniffled, wiping her face with her sleeve, and shook her head in a futile attempt to clear her thoughts. She took a deep breath, and walked down the corridor.

The dorms weren't exactly quiet, but it wasn't loud enough to drown out the sounds of Connie and Sasha. They must've been going at it hard, she hadn't heard Sasha moan that loud in a while. Mikasa didn't understand how people had the energy to fuck in the morning. She could wake up to a titan attack, and would be able to fight without much drag, but sex was a whole different story. Jean had tried getting her to once, but she quickly shot down the possibility.

"Mikasa?" A fragile and shaky voice said, easily recognizable. Mikasa looked up to the familiar boy from her childhood with glassy eyes, the one person she actually enjoyed.

Mikasa didn't feel the need to hide her tears in front of Armin, and she let them fall. "Armin, what do I do?" She said in between violent sobs.

Armin hugged her, already knowing what the girl was crying about. "I don't know, Mikasa." He felt his eyes began to water as well, but quickly blinked them away. Right now, he had to be strong for Mikasa.

"How am I supposed to rescue him Armin? No one will help me. Not Levi, not Erwin, not Jean. Nobody." Her sobs hadn't lessened, and Armin could feel her tears staining his shirt.

Armin sighed, thinking back to what General Pixis had told him. Yes, Mikasa has to accept that Eren's gone, but he couldn't help but think that it'd burn the last bit of string that was keeping her sanity intact. "Mikasa…" Armin sighed, knowing that he had to do this. "Eren… Eren is gone, Mikasa." Armin couldn't help but let a few tears fall, feeling a sense of betrayal.

Mikasa pushed away from his grasp. "Armin! How could you - No! Eren's not-"

Whatever was holding Armin back snapped. "No, Mikasa! He is! Eren is fucking dead! So stop fucking acting like he's not! He's fucking dead! He was my friend too, and I'm just as broken as you are, but you have to accept it!" He cut her off, surprising even himself with his aggression. Tears were streaming down his cheeks at this point, and there was a sense of burning rage in his eyes, one that Mikasa hadn't seen before.

Her eyes widened, and she started shaking hysterically from the sobbing. She tried to say something, but it came out as only wails. She fell into Armin's arms - also shaking - and let herself go. Whatever was holding back her emotions just collapsed, and at that moment, Mikasa realized that she had no one to fight for. No Eren to protect. Jean was right, what was she training for? What was she even living for, anymore? She saw no further purpose in surviving in this eternal hell, not even for Armin. She felt the sense of emptiness fill her up, knowing that no drug, spiked drink, or fuck buddy could help her now. All she could do was wallow, now, in her empty depression and rage.

"I'm sorry, Mikasa. He's gone…"

They stayed like that for a while, just hugging in the middle of the hallway. They were uninterrupted, although a disturbed Connie and Sasha popped their heads out of his room to check on the commotion. Armin had waved them off, not wanting the lovers to disturb Mikasa's grieving.

"I'm going to kill them, Armin." Mikasa whispered after a while, head still buried into his shirt. "Those bastards, fucking traitors. They killed him, Armin. He did nothing wrong, but they tortured him, and they killed him." She took a long and shaky inhale, and it seemed like minutes before Armin heard her again. "And they'll fucking pay for it." Her voice was on a whole new level of terrifying, one that Armin had never heard, not even the first time Eren "died".

"They will, Mikasa, they will." Armin couldn't deny it, he hadn't felt quite like this before; violent, aggressive, angry. He had wished bad among people before, but never like this. He had never wished death upon somebody before, and he wholeheartedly meant it. He knew that if he ever got the chance to have a barrel pressed to Reiner, Bertholdt, or Annie's skull, he'd be able to pull the trigger, without hesitation.

Armin wanted them all to rot in hell.

 **Well, there it is… Chapter 1. Hope you all enjoyed it, I had some fun writing it, and I think it's gonna kick up and get a little more interesting. Quick heads up, I have pretty heavy commitment issues, so it's not gonna be very constant updates, especially for the next week (because of finals). Let me know on the chapter length, I feel like this was a bit short, but I like the chapters a little longer than most people.**

 **Once again, don't hold back on the critique, I'm fairly new to writing, so it's a major help. However, that being said, I get a little peeved when people just comment "Your writing's stupid" or something. It isn't that I can't take a little bashing, I just can't take a bashing that doesn't help me. Give me something that can improve my writing, or else my writing's going to continue being stupid.**

 **Anywhooooooo, comment/review/all that jazz, and I'll cya'll next time.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2: Flashback: Close Combat**

 **Quick note, probably a good idea to watch episode 6 (and 7, if you have the time) of season 2 before reading this chapter, it's what this flashback is to. I don't do a very good job of describing everything, so it'll definitely help. I also took the name from that episode, so… yeah. Anyway, enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Attack on Titan**

The roars of the two titans were terrifying, and sent a chill down the spine of every soldier in the vicinity. Eren and Reiner, both in titan form, were grappling on the ground right next the the wall, and every step they took, every punch they threw, and every growl that they let out shook it. The soldiers couldn't do anything but watch the monsters fight, unable to get anywhere close to the colossal titan. It was emitting a burning smoke, singeing the skin and burning the throats of anyone who had dared get close.

Eren was getting his ass beat, frankly. Every punch he threw seemed to do nothing, not even a dent in the copper colored armor, but every punch he took was lethal, ripping skin and breaking bones. He got up every time, of course, but he had never felt worse in his life. After the third punch, he could barely move, and his regeneration powers had noticeably slowed down, struggling to keep up with the frequent and immense impacts.

To Mikasa, Eren and his titan didn't look anything alike whatsoever, with the exception of their eyes. The titan's eyes were still the angry, burning eyes that she had grown up dreaming about, and knew so well. Once he got up from the third hit, Mikasa saw something change in them, and their glow was something she would never forget. His eyes were the same as they were when he had saved her life so many years ago. Not wild and chaotic rage, it was a different kind. It was controlled, reasonable, protective; the same eyes she had fallen in love with.

Eren jumped up, jawbone still healing, and returned to his fighting stance. However, he didn't charge like the last few times. He roared, louder than the last times, and his jaw snapped back into place.

"Did he lose control?" Hanji asked to no one in particular, in awe of his persistence.

Mikasa was going to tell Hanji otherwise, but couldn't take her attention away from the commotion below. She could tell Eren was trying extra hard to stay patient, and let his opponent come to him. Reiner walked menacingly towards him, steam escaping his teeth, and once he got to the perfect distance, Eren leapt. It appeared as if he was going into another punch, and Reiner retaliated appropriately, or so he thought. Eren's movements were a blur, dodging the punch with impeccable timing, and Mikasa's eyes widened at what he did. She recognized the move, it was the movie Annie had "taught" him. He ducked slightly to the outside, ducking under Reiner's punching arm, and the other wrapping around his neck. His arms met behind his shoulder bone, and latched onto one another.

Before Mikasa knew it, Eren had Reiner pinned down, and the surprise was evident in the armored titan's eyes. For a moment, the two titans were motionless, frozen, and everyone was quiet, watching in awe. Eren pulled his arm back slowly, preparing for a punch, but froze. It wasn't hesitation, the way he held it there, it was obvious he was waiting for something. Reiner placed his hand on his stomach, and pushed, attempting to be the one pinning Eren.

The movement was so fast, too fast for even Mikasa to comprehend. Suddenly Eren had his legs wrapped around Reiner's neck, with his arm trapped in his. Eren was indeed the one on the ground, but he had a clear advantage. Reiner was struggling to simply move, and the armor where his shoulder and jaw were being pushed was cracking.

Eren then shifted again, and threw his former friend to the ground with his legs. He had Reiner pinned once again, and was pulling his right arm harshly. Reiner reached around with his free arm in a futile attempt to get out of Eren's hold. But soon, a golden titan arm was flying through the air, and the Armored Titan had one less limb.

Eren got up, and a frightened Armin yelled "Eren! Get to the wall!" His voice was shaky.

Eren didn't quite understand why, other than it being a defensive move, but Armin had always been the smart one, so he obeyed. He felt so powerful, he was surprised at his own strength, speed, and composure; he had finally won a fight. Or so he thought. He had reached the wall with barely enough time to turn and see a charging Reiner, shedding armor from his lower legs to gain speed. Eren was slammed against the wall; a non-lethal blow, thankfully, but the wall shook violently.

Eren had take much less damage from the blow as he'd expect, but still felt it when he popped up and dashed to a safer distance. Eren struggled to understand how he didn't feel much of a blow, as there was a large and obvious dent in the wall from the impact.

Reiner begun barreling in again, and both his speed and acceleration took Eren very much by surprise.

"What? How'd he get so fast?!" Eren thought to himself, wishing he had made even more distance. "Shit, there's no way I'm dodging this." He thought once again. Everything seemed to stop, Reiner was only feet away, with an unreadable fire in his eyes. "Fine then, have it your way." Eren realized he didn't necessarily have to dodge the tackle to win, smirking to himself.

As Reiner dove into him, Eren wrapped his legs around Reiner's torso, and his arms around his neck. The two went down, with Eren's right arm wrapped tightly around Reiner's neck, and he began to push his head down while pulling his chest and shoulders up.

"Come on! More, more! GIMME THAT HEAD!" Eren yelled internally, fueled by rage. But soon, he saw something swoop in from the corner of his eye. Mikasa. She slashed at the now bare area behind Reiner's knees, causing them to collapse and leave two large craters where they hit the ground.

Eren slightly nodded to her, in thanks, and he thought he saw a small smile in return. At that moment, all of Eren's rage seemed to disappear. His whole world, for that tiny little moment, was Mikasa. He heard a bellow from Reiner, and his anger returned as quickly as it left, his thoughts of Mikasa returning to the back of his mind.

"I'LL FUCKING KILL YOU!" Eren screamed in his head, pulling up with all the strength he could muster. A few bronze shards fragmented from the nape, and a soft, bloody mist stained Eren's face. It was working.

Eren continued to push and pull, and the blood continued to spray. Hanji and the others simply stared, jaws hanging open; it had been a while since Hanji had been left speechless. Suddenly, Reiner seemed to muster whatever little strength he had left, pushing himself and Eren forward.

"Ha! A useless struggle, Eren has him." One of the soldiers said smugly. Eren seemed to have thought the same thing, applying even more pressure on the Armored Titan, thickening the spray of blood. Reiner's knees collapsed once again, he had seemingly run out of energy, and let out a loud growl as if a final struggle.

"Oi, be on your guard, it might've called other titans!" Hanji ordered of a few nearby soldiers, who soon returned without any sightings.

And then, Armin saw it. The upper half of the colossal titan, placed on the wall directly over the struggling titans below. The timing, the placement, the seemingly pointless road, they weren't a coincidence. "Oh no..." He said to himself, in a voice barely more than a whisper. The colossal titan had begun to fall, slowly, and Armin's yells were easily heard, even by the Titans below. "WATCH OUT!"

All of the soldiers hanging from the wall in the path of the titan barely got out of the way, all burnt, bloody, or bruised. Eren, on the other hand, didn't. His head whipped up, shaded by the falling monstrosity. Then, darkness...

* * *

At that moment, time had seemed to stop. Mikasa couldn't do anything but watch in horror as the colossal titan's head and torso fell upon the grappling titans below. Its mouth was gaping, like the gates of hell, and its hollow eye sockets seemed to burn like the fires of said hell. She knew, then, that everything was not going to be okay.

It all unraveled quicker than she could perceive. She was back on top of the wall, ears still ringing, world still spinning, and throat still burning. Once she came to, just a few moments later, she saw it. A bloody and limbless Eren, being carried away by the obviously weakened armored titan. She yelled his name, ignoring the fire in her throat. Her yells were hysterical, her mind being unstable due to the sight of Eren - her Eren - missing his arms and legs, beaten and bloody, with blood staining his clothes and face.

"NOOO! EREN!" She screeched as the titan shrieked into the horizon, her screams accompanied only the the receding booms of the monster's footsteps.

"No, not again. Eren, please come back."

* * *

When Mikasa awoke, she had regained most of her self control, but was still crazed when she asked Armin of Eren's whereabouts. She had peeked over the edge, and looked down the line of unconscious soldiers, and begged Armin to arrange a search party. But his points were valid: they didn't have nearly enough soldiers, and the horses had to be moved up and over the wall by the elevators.

Hannes had come by, dropping off some rations for the two, and spoke about the "good ole' days", where Mikasa had always been there to save Eren, who had always been there to save Armin. His speech had brought tears to the young eyes - particularly Mikasa - but also motivated them. The burning passion within them was formidable, determined to get back their friend, so it could be like the "good ole days".

Just a few hours later, it was nearly sunset, and Hanji had assembled her plan with the help of Armin. Even though Hanji was barely conscious, her and Armin were the smartest ones on the wall, and their plan was seemingly seamless (relatively). They had arranged a very large party, and the next evening they departed for the forest.

However, despite the massive arrangement of soldiers, their mission was not successful. They suffered no casualties, lost no resources - other than time - but they hadn't retrieved Eren. In fact, they had not encountered any titan, nor shifter. Armin's predictions were wrong; Eren was gone.

 **Final Notsies: Well here it is, chapter 2. Sorry if it's really underwhelming, I know that flashbacks normally are, but I felt that it was necessary to put all of this in he story, and I hope I did it in a somewhat entertaining way. Also, sorry that the 2nd part (after Mikasa woke up) was less detailed and kinda terrible, I didn't want to have to write another section like that first one (cuz I'm lazy :P). And yes, I know, they do actually find Eren in the forest and lose a shit ton of people, I really, really didn't wanna do another battle scene (lazy bum :P). But don't worry, the important death will come later (trying not to spoil it for the people who only watch the anime). Sorry it took so long, but finals are over now and hopefully I have the motivation to write the future chapters a little quicker. Anywaysss, comment, review, critique, and all dat jazzzz, and I'll cya'll next time.**


	3. Picking this shit back up :)

Hey all, I've decided to pick up Return again. I had gotten a few reviews/messages saying that people really liked it, so I'm going to review chapters 1 and 2, hopefully making them a bit better, and also to help make the plot I had in mind a little smoother. I'll try to update as much as I can, but school's definitely my priority, and I have work as well to occupy my time. Just letting everyone know, it will probably update quite slowly, but I'll absolutely try my best :)


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